“everyone likes being complimented, even if they know it’s bullshit.” – my father

There is no sound sweeter to a woman (and maybe even a man for that matter) than a compliment.  We love it!  We love everything about it -even when we know you are feeding us lines. That’s because we want to believe it. I mean, who doesn’t want to believe great things about himself/herself?!  That being said, if you aren’t comfortable giving a compliment, it will often come out forced or sounding like a sales pitch.  In addition,  women will often get a bit uncomfortable when they are complimented because they don’t know how to respond.  Below are some helpful tips on how to give a compliment that will leave her smiling and wanting more…of you!

Delivery: how to sound natural and genuine

The goal when giving a compliment is not sound like you do it all the time to every woman that walks by, but to also not sound forced and awkward like you don’t know how to talk to women and needed to rehearse the compliment.  Either of these deliveries puts a woman on edge and forces her to response.  The best type of compliment leaves little time for a response, other than a quick thank you.  If you aren’t used to complimenting women, start by practicing on a female coworker.  One day simply say to her “I like your shirt” or “your hair looks nice” in passing.  Say it matter-of-factly, as if you are telling her it is sunny outside then keep walking or quickly move on to another topic without skipping a beat. It doesn’t matter if the only female you work with is 60 years-old and scary, this practice will get you comfortable with having that type of interaction with women.

What to compliment:

Stick to the basics.  Hair, clothes, jewelry or shoes.  All of these items are in the safe zone…they are things that won’t trigger a bad reaction and women hold a lot of pride in each of them. You might feel weird complimenting something she is wearing, but believe me, she’ll love it.  About 5 years ago a bouncer complimented my shoes as I was walking into the bar and I still clearly remember him and the shoes. The exchange was all of a 3 seconds, but it made me feel good!

When to compliment:

  • The most important time to compliment a woman, and also the most natural, is when you first see her.  This does not apply to women you are approaching in a bar, this is only for women you already know.  For example, if you are meeting her at a restaurant for dinner, when she walks in and greets you simply say hello, hug/kiss her and when she pulls away from the hug say “you look nice” or any variation of nice.
  • When she is dressed up.  If she is ever dressed up more than normal it is imperative that you tell her she looks great.  “Wow, you look unbelievable/great/fantastic/beautiful.”
  • During sex. this can be a really intimate compliment, such as looking her in the eyes and saying “you’re so beautiful” or something a bit less meaningful, such as “wow, you’re sexy” while looking at any part of her other than her eyes.
  • Do not try to use a compliment as an introduction.  If you have never met a woman before and are approaching her in a bar, do not think that complimenting her will get your foot in the door.  In fact, it will ruin your chances by sounding cheesy.

Now go make her feel special and compliment her.


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